Sogni di te
Nei miei occhi
Quando mi sveglio
This morning, the sky was thick with flurries and I debated whether to go out or not. Finally I determined that I probably don’t get enough fresh air, and off I went. I wasn’t too far into my adventure before I was nearly hit by a car—the driver wasn’t looking into the direction he was turning and it so happened that he was turning into me. Both of my hands landed on the hood of his car and then I just felt angry; what am I, invisible?
Still fuming, I went to get lunch and quite stupidly of me, I chose one of those places where the tables are uncomfortably close together. I thought perhaps a snowy Wednesday would keep the crowds down, but I guess not, as I maneuvered into the last place, right next to two young ladies deep in a conversation involving the nefarious deeds of one mysterious Alex, who I determined was the boyfriend/husband/significant other of one of them. I tried to read and ignore them, but I might as well have been one of their party. Alex, if you are reading this, I think your lady-love has been checking your phone and reading your emails and while she says she does not want to put a collar on you and make you submit, to use her turn of phrase, I feel she means exactly the opposite given the way she and her enthusiastic British confidant kept toying with every one of your actions like a cat out for the kill. Of course, if you are as big a jerk as she says you are, then I can only assume perhaps you deserve one another.
This just goes to prove one should never hear such a dyspeptic conversation whilst eating, as I soon felt queasy and didn’t even finish my subpar tea before heading out into the snow, only to nearly be struck by a car again.
Someone once commented here that they thought I should live in a place of lower population density, and I quite agree. Perhaps the only reason I found Japan so agreeable is that, despite its crowds, everyone maintains a sense of personal space. Everyone pretends everyone else is invisible, and acts invisible themselves, which is much more pleasant.
I found a ginger ale for my stomach and sat in the park, gazing at trees and birds and nothing in particular; I think I understand certain people’s affinity for nature. I don’t want to look upon humans and I can only bear to think of humanity as some abstract concept. The real thing is disappointing, dangerous and dull. Since the park was empty, I swung on the swings with only robins for an audience and felt much much better.
branches on family
trees, set into soil
Roots buried deep,
leaves broken by
short on sleep…
No one asks
for construction, or
but we elongate
tangents hoping for
meaning to eviscerate us-
When am I alive and breathing?
Why am I a separate ghost,
This intricate web
is a dance seldom won,
but we curtsy nonetheless.
If I ever met Lee Pace I would walk up to him and stroke his eyebrows and say “Your eyebrow game is amazing” and then walk away. And faint.
"Ti svelo un segreto. Non so farmi amare."
Voglio andarmene. (via voglio-andarmene)
The weather varies between heavy fog and pale sunshine; My thoughts follow the exact same process."
Virginia Woolf, 21 April 1918 (via wordsthat-speak)
I’m standing on the edge of your pupils, about to fall in.
Photo: Look Directly at It and You’ll Fall Right In (Eliza Stamps, 2013)