"She was like a heroinein a novel that she herseld was writing; the character kept protesting that she was too strong for love, and yet the narrator went on describing her desire."
Anna Godberson, Envy.
"Amo il mare, il rumore delle onde, la spiaggia. Detesto i quasi, i forse, i monosillabi. Do peso alle parole. Piango per un film, per un finale di un libro, per le persone che vanno via. Ho l’incazzatura abbastanza facile, ma mi basta un piccola parola per farmela passare, non riesco a tenere il muso alle persone a cui tengo. Credo sempre che l’ultimo tentativo sia il penultimo, e credo che le cose belle non si ottengono se non si lotta. Sono paranoica, impulsiva, sono tremendamente gelosa e sono lunatica. Sono per le cose complicate, ma non resisto a lungo. Non so dire addio. So solo che resto, resto se credo in qualcosa."
Elizabeth Julie Shanti. (via la-ragazza-solitaria)
I have a rage in me lately
Restlessness scratching from the inside of my rib cage
Springing two steps from my heart.
It’s this ugly mass of unformed sentences and emotions and lack of courage and excess of contradictory fears.
Gnawing, gnawing night and day.
The days are too long and the nights too deep.
So many things preventing my sleep and curdling my stability.
What’s this foe? Am I to run? From what?
Am I to scream? What and to who?
Nothing is presenting itself to soothe all these thoughts.
All these thoughts I’d like to bring to not.
Cup of hot tea to cold lips
Recollecting our touching fingertips
Sharing the space of a couch
And that of unexplored territory
Im mad, im mad, oh dam oh dam
Why did I look you in the eyes those two times and settle comfortably into pretend cohabitance for those weeks?
Seeking ships and similar sips?
All when I knew you were going.
Time hasn’t healed my moaning, your groaning, our sowing
The seed to
Find each other soon
But what for? I can’t go more.
I knew I’d miss you
Before you left and then
not to test I gave my life no rest
But now I have minutes
And there aren’t enough sit ups
Or morning bagels
That ease my brain from the drain
That is missing you,
All the same.
My brain is so interesting as soon as I wake up, its like creativity peak, all the nuro pathways are open to me and uninhibited. During the semester I woke up and took a paper and wrote my Network Society paper’s thesis haha quite amazing
‘Just a young heart confusing my mind, but we’re both in silence, wide-eyed. Both in silence, wide-eyed, like we’re in a crime scene.’